My Tendency to Drift

Lord, I need You!  I cry out to You because, as usual, my ways aren't working and just serve to increase my plight!  I’m hiding and soothing and hurting, but I turn my eyes to You because You, alone, are my Help, my Song, my Deliverer, my Redeemer.  You, alone, are my Comforter.  I repent for turning to other things for comfort of late.  I have tried to maintain way too much in my own strength, and it has failed me again and left me weak.  I turn and look to You now, Lord.  My help comes from the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth.  Deliver me, Father, out of a mess of my own making, out of this pit, and set my feet upon You, the Rock that is higher than I.  Forgive me for my self-soothing ways, for my compromises.  My flesh would settle for until it sells out completely, but, out of my spirit, I turn and seek Your heart, Your will, Your grace, Your plan.  I commit myself fully to run to You in this difficult time, knowing that, if I seek You with all my heart, You will be found by me.  Thank You, Lord, that you never run nor hide from me.  Forgive me for my tendency to do so.  Holy Spirit, help me to recognize when I am becoming disappointed with things and impatient with Your timing because that’s when I begin to subconsciously drift and pull away.  And the further I drift from You, the more at risk I am, the more dangerous the waters become.  I lose sight of Your Lighthouse.  You, alone, are my Source, my Strength, and my Song, my Help in time of need.  Undergird me with Your deep love.  Keep me in Your perfect peace as my mind is again stayed on You.  Thank You that Your plans for me are good and not evil, to give me a future and a hope.  Thank You that you provide all of my needs according to Your riches in glory.  I am so grateful that You will never leave me or forsake me, no, never!  Thank You that you never change, that You are faithful even when I am faithless, full of grace and mercy.  Aaaahhh, feels good to be “home”.  Lead me, Lord, I pray on Your path.  I run to You!

Love, Your Daughter, Stacey  :)

Loving Judas

Am I really doing what I say? Is that what’s revealed when it’s all on display? Am I really practicing what I preach, Or is there a higher level I must reach? Does my heart match up with the words I sing? Accountability is a tough but wonderful thing. God is not fooled but sees my whole heart, Not just the good, my intentions, but every part. Holiness is the standard He calls me to. His voice, His Word I must hear anew. When I experience betrayal and feel pain, When I feel alone, and tears fall like rain, Do I remember Jesus is my High Priest For the biggest stuff down to the least? Do I recall His great suffering for me That far surpasses what mine will ever be, How He loved and treated Judas just the same As the loyal, even knowing he would maim? He kept His heart clean and pure from offense, Loved unconditionally and walked in forgiveness. If Jesus could do that, and He lives in me, He can teach and empower me to do the same as He. Broken promises God knows all about, For I’ve often been guilty of that route. So grateful for love that covers a multitude of sins Because the weakness of my flesh too often wins. I must better learn to offer this grace When others’ weaknesses I must face. Purify my heart and my motives, Lord. Unforgiveness and resentment I cannot afford. Help me to be silent when my words are unkind, For my tongue is powerful to free or to bind. You’ve called me to a life where my self is dead, That by Your desires and plans I would be led. Thank You for a life and heart of laughter full! In spite of trouble, joy can reign and rule. May I maintain the heart and faith of a child in all And, for the enemy’s tricks and traps, never fall. I desire Your wisdom, Your eyes, Your view To offer kindness and patience to others as You do. For treating Your children lesser than You would, From my heart, I repent, as I certainly should. And I thank You for this opportunity to grow. Even when it’s hard, good seed I can sow. As I stretch, my tears will soften the ground, So, in the end, a good harvest can be found.

What Does His Consistency Do for Me?

Wow, there is nothing like new revelation from on high! This had never occurred to me. Got this one steppin’ outta the shower this morning. Lately, the Lord has been helping me create consistency in a particular area that I am lacking. Actually, there are many areas, but He’s been working with me on one for now. Guess I gotta get that one down before we move onto the next. Lol. I’m so grateful that He’s doing this because it’s like revelation knowledge for me. Consistency has never ever been my strong suit, and that truly is the understatement of the year! Now, the drum roll please… He is a God of consistency! Therefore, because He is in me and is molding me into His image, I can be consistent, too! Woo hoo! Yep, that’s it. If you didn’t catch the impact, please allow me to expound. Okay, I understood the basic concept that God is the Potter and is molding us into His image, that He is whittling away everything that looks like us and doesn’t look like Him, etc. However, I’d never really pondered who He is that I am not…yet. I had never thought about the fact that He is all those things I wanna be. He has all those traits I wanna have. All those areas where I’m lacking, that I get so frustrated with myself about…He masters. Wow! Did you get that?!? Not yet? Then, let’s keep going with this train of thought. I have been amazed of late with how the Holy Spirit has been developing “the fruit of the Spirit” in me. It didn’t happen like this, but it seems like it was an overnight change. Truthfully, I just realized it overnight. Lol. But I have found that, as God has delivered me of junk and strongholds have been removed, He has been replacing those negative traits and such with the fruit of the Spirit. In years past, I had no patience, no longsuffering, no self-discipline, etc. I must admit, though, the self-discipline has been the last to “come on board”. Anyway, the Holy Spirit successfully played connect-the-dots for me this morning! In that moment, when He said He is a consistent God, He revealed this: whatever He is, I can be, too! Wow, is that freeing or what?!? On the drive to work this morning, He kept saying “I am a faithful, dependable, and consistent God!” So, I looked @ my life and realized that I, too, have learned to be faithful and dependable in “my new life”, unlike my old life. Hallelujah! And now, He’s teaching me consistency. He went on to confirm these things. If He said it, He’ll do it. If He started it, He’ll finish it. If He promised it, He will fulfill it. If He did it before, He will do it again. He is not a man that He can lie. Do you really get that? He is a consistent God, not one way today and another tomorrow. “He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” If He promised you something last year, He meant it and has not forgotten. It will come to pass! If He began a work in you or gave you a dream, He will bring them to pass. Not only that, He is actively @ work because He is a consistent God. He is not on break. He did not sit down on the job. He is consistently at work in our lives, working all things together for good, every day…when I feel Him and when I don’t, when I see His hand and when I don’t. Regardless, He is moving, He is working, He is active because He’s a God of consistency. Let this truth set you free, free to know He is at work for you and in you until you completely resemble Him. Whatever you want to become, whatever changes you want to make, as long as they’re in line with Who He is, He can and will work consistently in you to bring those changes to fruition. Truly, in this consistent God, we find everything we need and need to be! :)

Finding MY way is a waste of time!

The other day, while driving home, I was listening to Third Day. I was singing along to “Revelation”, an amazing song, which I’d heard many times before, when suddenly the words jumped out at me! I love the way the Holy Spirit does that. I heard/sang the part “trying to find my way”, and that’s when the epiphany hit! That’s exactly the problem! I heard that still small voice say ‘People try to find THEIR way, when they need to always be seeking MY way’. Ouch. Proverbs 14:12 says “There is a way which seems right to a man and appears straight before him but, at the end of it, is the way of death.” Honestly, my way is usually wrong, a bad idea, or at least bad timing. Truth is truth. If I haven’t asked the Lord what He wants, then what I come up with is usually off base. That’s because it proceeds out of my unrenewed flesh. Without His leading, I don’t make the greatest decisions. Basically, I do what I want when I want it. But don’t we all have that tendency??? Last week, I was online buying shoes (again), and I heard that quiet whisper that said “Ya know ya haven’t asked My permission lately?” I immediately knew what the Holy Spirit meant. He was so gently bringing to my attention that I’d gotten out of the habit (again) of asking His permission before I do things. Unlike kids who grow up into adults and do not have to ask their parents anymore, we never outgrow that need as a child of God. We always need His direction, His insight, His protection. We need to tap into what He knows, which is what’s best for us...and what’s not. Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Since He is a God Who knows what I need and is my ultimate Provider, why do I tend to think I have to make things happen for myself? Matthew 6:8 says “…for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” And His way is always better than my way. It never fails that, when it’s all said and done, I like His way better! After He prevents my way or I wait on Him for His way, I am always in awe of what all He brought together and how superb it is! So, then why do I always have to fight that tendency to seek my way?!? Why do I think that my plans are better or my timing more perfect or what I want more important than what He wants? I don’t actually have those conscious thoughts, but my behavior, at times, conveys exactly that. Proverbs 3:5-6 reveals the remedy “Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.” As I've become more submitted, I've found my prayer has become "Have YOUR way, Lord". Really, trying to find or get MY way is a waste of time because ultimately (thankfully!) God will have HIS way in my life, and that way is always sweeter and more blessed!!! :)

God - the Original Recycler

In a world that preaches ‘reduce reuse recycle’, yesterday morning’s epiphany from on high was rather fitting. The Holy Spirit dropped this little morsel in my spirit, and it began to grow. So, go with me here. “God is the original recycler”. In fact, in God’s eyes, there is no waste or trash. Everything and everyone is recyclable. No need to check for the proper symbol or sign. It’s automatic in His kingdom. First, He rescued all of us who have chosen Him from the trash heap, the dumpster, of life. There is no hope, no real life without Him. I don’t know about you, but my life was/is a pile of poop without Him. I am helpless to save myself, to turn anything around, to take any bad situation and miraculously convert it into something useful. But He can…and He does…every day. Many are familiar with Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” But sometimes we’ve heard something so much that we don’t really ‘hear’ it anymore. So, this is a new take on that straight from the heart of God. God will never leave us or discard us. In other words, no one is trash in His eyes. Every life is redeemable, worth saving, worth ‘recycling’. He never ever gives up on us. He has a plan and a purpose for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11) and will continue to do all He can to carry that purpose out in us until the day we die. And then He takes every situation and uses it for something. No matter how big or small, it will be recycled. Friends, there is intense hope in that thought!!! In other words, no matter what you are going through right now, no matter how hard, tough, painful, etc., God will take it and use it for something good in your life! So, God is able to take everything, even waste, and convert it into part of the masterpiece He’s making of your life. Woo hoo! That gets me excited! I’ve known this, but this epiphany just really extended the whole concept for me and showed me this as a whole side of God...the Recycler. Lately, there have been some things in my life that I am in awe of how God has ‘converted’ them! The last few years have been full of blessing but have also been a hard road to walk at times, but I’ve seen God turn things for our good, as well as take the seeds of obedience and faithfulness…that we ‘planted’ during some of our toughest times…and begin to convert them into an amazing harvest full of joy and anticipation! God keeps reminding me lately of the promise in Psalms 30:5 “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning!” At this moment in our lives, we sense the dawn of a new day, and I am absolutely ecstatic! I have hardly been able to contain my joy thru the last week. I am so excited about this new chapter in our lives because God has sooo been busy recycling! You cannot begin to imagine what he can do with madness and sorrow, with hideous choices, with a life full of self-destruction, with great loss, until you open your hand to take His, let go of your life, and ask Him to please recycle it. Then, one day, you will look around and be in awe of how He took a mess and made a fabulous masterpiece!!! I know I’m beginning to see it take shape, and for that I am amazed and most grateful!

Stay on the Leash!!!

I’m sure you’ve heard of that 11th commandment: Know thyself. Long story, but Sunday morning I was moved strongly that I wanted and needed to stay SO CLOSE to the Lord. I just kept hearing those words, saying those words to Jesus “I wanna be so close!” Well, God, in His great sense of humor, gave me a picture of a mom with a child on one of those stretchy leash things. Ya know what I’m talking about? Sorry, if I don’t know the correct term for them (never been a mother of small children). All I know is that my mom wishes they’d been invented back when I was little! Loved to hide in the clothing racks of every store! Drove my parents nuts! Anyway, the Lord showed me that picture and let me know that I’m still one of those kids, that I need to stay connected and super close to Him, IF I want to become what He’s called me to, IF I wanna hear His every word to me, IF I wanna be sure I don’t fall down. Wow! I thot that was really cool…after I got over the sting of Him telling me that I’m ‘one of those’. Lol! Like I didn’t already know that. I did. I know myself, but I needed God to make that point with me. He let me know that I could stay that close to Him, where I hear Him and feel Him, but I must ‘stay on the leash’. I don’t know about you, but I tend to wander. I tend to wanna go my way, do my thing. I tend to ‘hide’ when I’m mad or frustrated or sad or whatever…but I need to stay that close! I need God’s presence in my life every moment of every day. I need to be close enough to hear what HE has to say about my situation, how HE feels about me, how much HE loves me, especially when things are tough! I’ve asked Him to show me the things that separate me from Him, that bring distance between us, so I can remove them. So, my new goal is to ‘stay on the leash’. Just like everything our Father does, it’s for our own good. He’s a good God and a good Father, the best really, and I think He’s whispering to us all “Stay close, my child. Stay close”. :)

What's in a Name?

I guess I’ve known the meaning of my name for as long as I can remember. Stacey means “of the resurrection” or “one who rises again”. Although the naming process seemed random, I’m convinced it was divine. I was supposed to be a boy – Michael David - right up until I was born. Surprise! So, needless to say, my parents had NO girl names picked out. My mom liked Casey and Kelly, but my dad liked neither. He reasoned that Casey was too much like K.C., his father (who was a real stinker!), and we’d had a cat named Kelly. So, they came up with Stacey instead, but I truly believe it was a God-inspired name because I was certainly gonna need it! My name has brought me much strength and hope throughout my life because there were many times I needed desperately to know that I would make it through. I have two pronounced wrinkles between my eyes where my forehead comes down to meet my nose. I’m sure there’s a name for those but anyway. I hate those wrinkles and have tried amazing products that helped, but I have unfortunately earned them. Far too many years of tears and pain and trying to understand my crazy ways caused those two annoying wrinkles. I guess I mostly hate them because I think they’re the main things that give away my age. Lol! On this Easter morning, I am reflecting on my resurrected Lord who has rescued me from near death time and time again, not only physically, but also emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. He is risen, and, because He is, I, too, am alive in Him! And believe me, that’s a long way from the ‘life of death’ I’ve lived through in the past! I may get into more detail in future blogs, but suffice it to say that I have survived a lot of dysfunction in my days. I have NO doubt in my mind that were it not for Jesus, I would NOT be alive today! In fact, I’m pretty certain I wouldn’t have even made it thru my teenage years. But God…those are 2 really powerful words! You may or may not believe in God, believe in a risen Savior, Jesus Christ, and that is your prerogative. I do not intend to try and convince anyone of His existence. My efforts here are only to document the amazing journey that I have been on with THE God Who raised me from the dead many times in many incredible ways! I wish only to give credit where credit is due, to the One Who deserves all the glory for my changed life. I now know that I will one day be able to look back and say “that was a life lived well”. You have no idea what a reversal that is for me. I spent many many years on a life lived MY way, full of pain and struggle and shame. This journey of a life lived well really only began a year after my first husband left me, and I was finally willing to admit that my way was not working and submitted to help from the only One Who could truly help me. And He has resurrected me in such a dramatic way…His way…that I enjoy regular epiphanies delivered to my heart from His Holy Spirit, and I am truly changed! Happy Easter to all! My Redeemer lives!!! :)